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M3ss3dUpJ0k3r
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Name: Andy
Country: United States
State: North Carolina
Metro: Winston-Salem
Birthday: 6/25/1990
Gender: Male
Interests: I like girls, drugs, religion, movies, computers, paintball, and music...
2pac, 50 Cent, ACDC, Afroman, Alice In Chains,
Alkaline Trio, America, Atreyu, Beastie Boys, Black Eyed Peas, Blink 182, Bob Dylan, Bob Marley, Bowling For Soup, Bright Eyes, C-Murder, Company Flow, De La Soul, Deftones, Dieselboy, DMX, Don Mclean, Dr.OCtagon, Eek-A-Mouse, Eminem, Everlast, Fear Factory, Five For Fighting, Flaw, Good Charlotte, Gorillaz, Granhammer, Green Day, Guns and Roses,Happy Mondays, Harry Chapin,Hawthorne Heights, Ice Cube, Ice T, Incubus, Insane Clown Posse, Jay-Z, Jefferson Airplane, Judas Priest, Kingston Trio, KMFDM, Korn, Kottonmouth Kings, Boa, Lamb of God, Len, LLCool J, Ludacris, Manic Street Preachers, Maroon 5, Matronix,
Metallica, Mindless Self Indulgence, Mos Def, My
Chemical Romance, Nas, NWA, Obie Trice, Outkast, Papa Roach, Pink Floyd, Placebo, Postal Service, Prodigy, Public Enemy, Queen, Rob Zombie, Senses Fail, Simon and Garfunkel, Slipknot, Snoop Dogg, Sum 41, S
Expertise: burning cds
Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  M3ss3dupJ0k3r
Yahoo:  Andysan36
Member Since:
9/17/2004
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| i got my bottom braces on today
ive taken every narcotic painkiller in my private stash and they still hurt worse than hell
theys also quite ugly
my tie dye hoodie came in the mail today
but its too small
bye bye 40 bucks
so if ur like small and want a tie dye hoodie for like 20 bucks tell me
yeah and jordans dad decided to not let me come for christmas
her moms all ok with it and so are my parents
but not her fucking dad
and ive been sick for like a week
so like yeah all this shit made a bad day, but i was managing to deal with it somehow
but then i tried on my new hoodie lol
that kinda just fucked with me
so i had to write this shit out
even if it wont help
i mean none of these things really matter in the grand scheme of things
but right now they suck
i might be going to New York with kevin for the holiday break
which should be fun with lots of parties and drugs and new york indieness
blah
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| I'm officially off probation.
The court ordered 6 months in Feburary of last year, and I served 8 months.
No more drug tests
No more visits from fat angry Probation Officer
Freedom from the man
Unfortunaley, I'm dry at the moment, so I'm not toking on a victory joint.
Not yet
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| Fearless
By Andy Bryan
Every day is like a dream
Life seems so fake
I think about all ive seen
All the shit ive had to take
I wonder about all the faces
Parading like shallow cutouts
Through all the meaningless places
These thoughts leave me in doubt
Of who I really am inside
Why do I have to feel like this?
In the drugs I want to hide
But their failure puts me in distress
They don't silence my thoughts
Why must I be a whore
Why must I get caught
Is this what im here for?
Ill break you a thousand times
And youll cry a million tears
In my quest to make myself feel fine
I do it all with no fear
Because I know
You'll never leave me
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| Well the day before school started, i had a awful fucking surprise.
I had thought I had been off probation for like 2 weeks, and my
probation officer shows up at my house. So im like why the fuck are you
here im off probation. And hes like no your not, ur parents called me
when u were about to get off and said you were acting up so your still
on probation. So I yelled at him for like 30 mins about it and he gave
me a bunch of bullshit and said I wasnt getting off until my counselor
said I could be off. Then I spit at my bitch of a mother and went away.
So yeah since I had thought I was off probation, of course i was
smoking weed and doing a shit load of shit and if i get tested im
screwed.
And last night I went to a party with Emily at some west forsyth chicks
house. There was a shit load of weed and alchohol so i got pretty high
and had some fun.
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Ok im going to write what happened when I did morning glory seeds
Date was July 30th, 2005
Jordan was on the phone with me for most of the trip which gave me a connection to reality.
About an hour or two before I had a dinner of KFC potato wedges
When I got to my friends house (friend hereby referred to as "K") I
counted out 250 morning glory seeds of the heavenly blue variety and
grinded them up in a coffee grinder to a fine powder. I then filled up
18 empty gel caps with the powder and began swallowing the pills at
9:30 pm. At around 10 pm I began to feel sick to the stomach as I had
expected. I was able to hold it down until 10:40 when I had to vomit in
a trash can. After vomitting I felt a little better for a few minutes
until another wave of nasuea hit hard, I went into the bathroom and
vomitted in the toilet. I then sat on the floor for a while feeling
like complete shit and wondering if this would ever end. I felt safe in
the bathroom because I could lock the door. This was when I started
feeling paranoid. My friend K gave me his cell phone so he wouldnt call
anybody, and he knocked on the door asking for it back, i gave It back
and he offered me a tums to make my stomach feel better, I took it and
locked the door again, feeling slightly paranoid about his intentions,
I held the tums in my hand and the thought of taking anymore pills made
me feel sicker so I got rid of it. Then I heard K yell at me through
the door "I thought you were going to chill with ME tonight" He sounded
angry so I immediately was like O shit i hope this doesnt turn ugly. A
few minutes later he interrupted my sitting on the floor feeling like i
wanted to die and told me to get my shit together and get out of the
bathroom because he didnt want his mom to come home to find me in the
bathroom vomiting.
So i thought to myself yeah I need to get my shit
together and I got up and went into K's room and layed on the bed. I
slowly started feeling better as I stared at a Bob Marley mosiac
poster. This was when the profound thoughts started coming. I was like
wow if Bob Marley is this complex and hes one person, then the whole
universe is really fucking complex. It blew my mind. We then turned out
the lights and turned on the itunes visulations and watched them. I had
the corner of my eye looking at the visulations and the rest of my
vision focused on the Bob Marley poster and I kept alternatiing between
looking at ethier one, but the wierd hyperspace portals and shit on the
screen were too much to look at for more than a second at a time. K
couldnt take it anymore and turned the screen off.
Then I started
playing with my teeth or something and that amused me for what seemed
like forever, then i started thinking I was a monkey because i looked
at my lanky long arms and i was like holy shit im a monkey. Then K's
mom came in the room and talked to him about the laundry while I was
rocking back and forth on my bed. Yeah I think she noticed we were out
of it. She left and we laughed about it, then we turned on the itunes
visulations again, and by now I was feeling much better and extremley
happy. I couldnt control my laughter, and I was singing along to all
the music at the top of my lungs. We watched these for what seemed like
enternity and I realized how beautiful life is and that god was
everything. I have never felt higher and happier in my entire life. Im
having trouble recalling what happened next. I got on the computer and
shit and had some deep conversations with K about all kinds of shit.
And his mom came in the room and talked to us about how the concert
was, I had a conversation with her and was trying very hard to act
sober. She left and I just laughed about it. At about 1ish or something
I was like I need to go home and K was like o shit i have to drive you
home while im tripping. I started to feel naseaus again and vomited
again before we left.
The ride home was filled with paranoia and
surrealism. I remember arguing with K about how to get rid of some
condensation that was on the windshield and was blocking his vision. We
argued for like 10 minutes wheter to make the inside temp hotter or
colder or the outside temp hotter or colder or make them the same temp.
Then finally he just turned the wipers on and the problem was solved.
We were thinking every light was a cop and every shadow was morphing
into deer. Me getting home was like a big accomplishment.
At home I
remember walking in the dark and feeling so freaking wierd. When I was
in the bathroom i look in the mirror and my head was shrinking. Then
when i went back out in the hall i heard a voice in a wierd lanquage.
Then I laid in my bed for a few more hours talking to Jordan about how
beautiful life was. This trip has encouraged me to quit smoking cigs,
which I will quit eventually. I went to sleep at about 4. The next day
I felt a strange afterglow and still felt a little out of it, like I
had been reborn. All in all this was a very good trip considering its
from legal shit. It only cost 2.50 too. Amazing. | | |
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